To Wake You Once Again
by Lady-von-Strife
Summary: MattxMello,warning! yaoi content...Matt is having vibes that it might be the last time that he and Mello are to be in each other’s midst. He wants to make things memorable but Mello gives him the cold shoulder. Will things end the way he wants it to be?
1. What I need

_Summary:_

_**Takes place on the night before and after Takada's capture.**_

_Matt is having vibes that it might be the last time that he and Mello are to be in each other's midst. He wants to make things memorable but Mello gives him the cold shoulder. Will things end the way he wants it to be?_

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_**AN: This is a MATTMELLO song fic, I do not own Death Note and the song 'An Angel' from the Filipino band Typecast, they rock, you should try and listen to their songs. This is a first for me so, uhm hope you'll help me by leaving some reviews, constructive criticism is very much welcome. Please excuse any of my typos etc... I'm just a kid ya know :) This may just be 2-3 part story… well at least if people want me to continue, I dunno I guess anything goes **_

_**Warning: This is Yaoi/Shounen-ai, kinda lemon o.o (My first ever... o.o)**_

**Dedicated to: numbah one… da-dara-ran! **_**Meggy bestie/Lady-von-Bielefeld**_**, **_**Seru/Krisselle-chan, ya-chan, miya-chan, Daph buchou/Lady-von-Hartnett**_**, readers of my other DN fic ****(Forbidden Fruit: Death is just aN iLLusioN)**_**NeoKira **_**and especially **_**reincarnatedcrazybutterfly who jus floods me with sugei Twilight fics hehe.**_

**To my readers, thanks for reading, hope you'll leave me a comment or message, kisukisu from ladystrife914/Shiori-chan :)**

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"_**To wake you once again"**_

_**MATT**_

"Do you understand me?"

"Yes of course."

"Good."

It was an unforgettable night.

"Mello?" My voice turned frail upon eyeing his gloomy expression. Though I had focus on the RPG on play, nothing that distorted Mello's usual self could get pass _me_.

His same weaved brows and crooked frown was nowhere in sight as I wanted it to be. It was very unusual for my golden-haired companion to show such emotion, especially to me.

I kept on charging my fingers in the controller as I waited for his reply. I wasn't really into it; I was actually quite in such a crypt if you ask me. But I had to pretend that things were in top-gear. But whom was _I _kidding?

"Mother f-…" I bit my lip in frustration.

Mello winced at my expression.

His orbs still darted the floor when he gave me a vague reply, "Hm?"

I think that he might have misunderstood my reaction. "Sorry, I was yakking at the game. I'm was just wondering if you wanted to share something with me?" My voice transitioned into curiosity.

I tapped the pause button and directed my face towards the gloomy Mello.

Mello half-opened his eyes and gave a smirk, "Oh…"

He lifted his trunk and rested his back on the coach. He had his eyes closed as he raked his hair and breathed heavily. His arms were rested on the arm of his chair… He was really tense. I could tell by the way he gripped the linen so tightly. His fingers were leaving an imprint

Mel's sun-colored hair was hanging as he bent down half his body between his legs. His pale white hands were clasping his head; I could sense angst in him.

I quickly dropped the controller of the Ps2 and positioned myself beside him. I crouched down and tried to fit my face in his, slowly making my way to let his eyes meet mine. I was ready to cup his face and force it to turn in my direction, "Is there…something wrong?" He gave a sigh, "Why do _you_ ask?" He breathed heavily into my face. I could still feel the cold and airy breath that he gave out which smelled of chocolates. "_Nothing_… Is there something you want to tell me?"

There was silence as we sat in the same position, inches away from each other's lips. I wanted to make the first move and make him less weary, but… he waved me off and jumped off the chair. Stalking his way to the fridge, he didn't look back at me.

I sat stiff, shocked by his negligence, but… I was used to it. I had to understand that Mello was upset.

My arms were trembling as I tried to straighten up. _Damn his power over me!_

Slowly, I took his position on the chair and watched him help himself with another bar of his favorite obsession, well; of course, I wanted to think that I was one of his as well, but the sinful distraction seemed to weigh more at the moment.

Yes. _Chocolates._

_It_ could give him the relief and the type of 'sweetness' that _I couldn't_. _It_ could make his blood rush unlike my gestures but my greatest envy as I watched him munch on the infamous treat, was its ability to reach and touch his tender lips… As it makes its way to caress the sides of the heart-shaped arch providing the opening to his tongue…

_**My**_ sweetest kind of candy; his lips.

I lost to a stupid piece of shit! Damn it Matt! You're the one who's all gung-ho about games! I can't believe you lost to reality!

I gave myself a mental slap.

Tch… I wanted to yank the console near to me but I just wasn't in the mood. Instead, I copied his movement and gave heavy-steps towards the controller.

Sitting on the floor, I un-paused my progress.

"_**Game over!!"**_

He still had his back on me despite the fact that I kept on raising the volume decibels higher than usual.

_Silence…_

But we still didn't speak for about half-an hour, which made me so impatient that I grabbed a hold of my PsP and pushed the hell out of the buttons while playing Tekken! "Damn you Jin! The hell with your silence!!" Shit! For the first time _he's_ making me so impatient! Damn it Mello!

I was already gritting my teeth so hard that it could bleed! I focused all my anger on the handheld device that it was already short-circuiting. "Shit-dog!" I hissed and threw the hand-held aside, which landed inches away from Mello.

My brows were arched together but it loosened up as Mel picked up my gadget.

"What's up with you?"

"Huh?"

He finally noticed me?

I ignored him and transferred to the bed. I literally threw myself into the mattress. He was still waiting for my reply, his sharp eyes darted solely on me, and it was as if he wanted to devour my face.

_Crack!_

He bit another chunk into his mouth, even as I buried my face in the pillows to avoid the unwanted conversation. My ears tingled as the chocolate broke and slithered into his throat. "Hey, I asked you something." He elevated his tone.

The cracking stopped and the noise was exchanged by the clanging of his boots.

I felt a dent on the bedside but I still lay flat. Hey if he ignored me then, I'll let him 'taste' _my _bitterness. "Its nothing…" I replied lifelessly. Still packing my face in the cottony figure.

_Tick!_

I could tell that he was about to take another slither but, he refused to continue. I peeked to see what was up with him.

Mel sat at my bedside just adjacent to my legs; of course he was still facing another direction. His right hand which was gripping the _Belgian _choc bar, rested on the mattress.

I focused on his face next and my, was I wide-eyed to see that my ghost-like Mello was paler than ever and his eyes… his beautiful sky-colored eyes started to turn into a cloud of precipitation.

"Mels?" I literally threw the pillow away and lifted my trunk. "Did," I sighed on this one. "_I _upset _you_?"

"No."

"Is there something wrong?"

He shook his head.

Talk to me damn it!

"Mello." I finally gathered the courage to make contact with him as I placed my hand on his shoulder.

"(Crap! He'd surely pus-)"

"Matt…" He called out my name and overlapped his hand on mine.

I was quite flustered. "Yes? Would you like me to…" I hung my legs to the bedside opposite him and straightened up, "…leave you alo-"

"NO!" He ordered as he gripped my wrist tight.

I sat back down, "O-okay…"

_Again… Silence…_

"Mello… I-"

He cut me off…

Things were very uncanny for the two of us this night. We both had a long day… With the whole Kira and Near fiasco going on, things tarted to pile up for Mello and iwas becoming more of a burden to his but still…

Just as we started to find comfort in each other's arms, the RPG that I was playing a while a go, rolled its credits… Man oh man! I cannot be more thankful for its invention, better yet its timing… I didn't know that it would play… such a melodic tune… And they say that video games are such a waste! Screw it!

_As our eyes grow weary, our lips tight of silence  
It was a long day, just time to go to bed  
Cause lying next to you, is all that I want tonight  
You made me feel secure, I hope I can stop time_

All so suddenly, he dashed towards me and molded his lips against mine so hard.

_So sweet… _I thought.

I could even taste the bits of his favorite treat.

My eyes turned wide for a minute, unlike him… who was… If was correct… concentrating…

I let him caress my face… I ruffled his hair… I didn't know why… but…. I knew that I had to make the most of the moment. If only this was the beginning and end of our day…

_What's wrong Mello? Wont you tell me now?_

Things started to sink in and we were really getting into it. Slowly… I felt the tension fleet away and my anger, bit-by-bit… withered. He replaced his 'coldness' with my favorite tenderness…

His chest started to press hard against mine but…

"Matt…" We both gasped for air, our faces still inches away from each other. "What?" I weaved my brows, "Why'd you stop?"

His eyes didn't blink as gazed at me.

A gaze that was both piercing and… **hopeful**…

"I…" He paused to edit, "Shit, I'm no good at this…." He released me and I bent closer to him, "You can tell me anything, if you want then, I'll just leave no more of our 'play'" I teased but halfmeant it.

He smirked, "Fine. You win." He sneered and faced me again, "I'm sorry okay?!"

_I've made mistakes before  
I promise not to do it again  
But let me ask you just one question  
"can I lean on your shoulder, your shoulder, your shoulder"_

WOW. Now that's a first.

Mello stood up and walked to the terrace. I paused for a moment and let him have his time.

"Go ahead. Laugh at me." He added.

And I did but not in a manner that was meant to offend him, it was just that his remark gave me such funny thoughts.

I sped towards him as he mumbled his complaints, I threw my gloves into the floor and took off my goggles and then directed towards Mello.

I forced him to turn to me and then even before he could react or speak, I took another 'bite' of _my _yummy treat.

_As our eyes close slowly, our words still unspoken  
I don't know what to say, but goodnight  
Cause lying next to you, is all that I want tonight  
You made me feel secure, I hope I can stop time_

Now, I didn't need an explanation, I just _needed_ my other half, I needed _Mello_…

We fumbled across the terrace and finally made it in our room, our lips were still locked and his grasp turned an inch tighter as we became closer, soon enough, he was able to pin me into bed, he was on top of me still dressed and looked at me with dreamy eyes…

"I know this is a bad time to tell you this…" He spoke once more, "If this day were to be our last together then…" He leaned closer to press his lips against mine, slowly biting the tip and fleeing just an inch away to whisper in my ear, "Matt…I…" He was croaking… My tough Mello was holding his tears… **"I love you damn it!"**

I responded by lacing my arms around him… tightening my hold as hard as I could! "Fuck you Mello! You already know what I feel!"

He started to wet my neck with tiny droplets but it was the least of my concern…I let him lay against me, for as long as I can take it… I was his to possess…

Everything went on so hasty and passionately afterwards, we found ourselves in each other, making the best of the moment… the only time that we stopped feeling on each other was when we breathed for air and when Mello took of the dangling rosary in his neck… Unfortunately though the chocolate spread on me, stupid Mello forgot to take it off the mattress but screw it, he loved chocolate too and with me as an addition, I was actually thankful and assured that he wouldn't resist.

Mello was the greatest character in the game that I called, "Life" but moreover than that, I was happy that if this were the time that credits would roll and etch _fin _on the screen, I'm glad that I won, HIM.

It was a very breezy dawn but I was grateful that Mello still had his arms overlap against my chest. I loved how he gave me peace.

People often perceive Mello as such a cretin or a disturbed person; they cease to see what's under the burnt side of his face, and even before the incident. I was the only one who though of him as a gentle person… He was my first friend in Wammy's orphanage and so it makes sense on how much we've grown into each other.

I turned to be face-to-face with him, I wiggled my right hand so that I could have the chance to outline the peaceful face of…

_**An angel…**_

_So peaceful and silent, I see an angel  
sleeping the night away, sleeping the night away_

"**If only Kira never existed, then you wouldn't have to suffer like this… but don't worry, everything will all be over… for tomorrow… With my own hands, he shall fall into my own ploy."**

Two can play this game Kira.

_So peaceful and silent, I see an angel  
Sleeping the night away, sleeping the night away  
So peaceful and silent, I see an angel  
And I'll try anything, to wake you up again_

I couldn't trace how long I've been watching him sleep and soon enough my eyes started to go heavy… No I don't want to sleep yet…

"_I know this is a bad time to tell you this…" _

"If this day were to be our last together then…"

"_Matt…I…"_

His message still echoed inside my ear as I began to fell drowsier by the minute but what lingered mostly inside my thoughts was his last message…

"_I love you damn it!"_

No matter how forced it seemed to others, it was the best sentence that could have ever entered my ears…

"Goodnight… My Mihael…"

* * *

The very next morning, I woke up very disturbed and jumpy. I turned to the clock and was alarmed that it was infact already half-past noon.

"Mello?" My voice croaked as I woke to a Mello-less scene.

I kicked out of my bed frantic, "Mells?"

My eyes scanned the room and I spotted him, shirtless and only covered in a blanket, on the floor and on his knees at the altar. He gripped his rosary.

I took minimal steps towards him.

"Keep it down will you." He said in a low tone.

I stopped halfway. "Are you-?"

"I have sinned Matt." He said still having his back on me.

I felt so struck by his words, what I've done is so grave.

"I shouldn't-"

"Never mind." He cut me off as he always did and straightened up, "The Lord always forgives sinners who plea for His help, I just hope that its possible for my sin to be forgiven… and if not… then I just hope that he spares _you_…" He sighed, "But enough of that." He hung his rosary on his neck and finally turned to me, who also, only covered in sheets of beddings, "I've obsessed over petty things and most of them, like that of my right as L's successor, led to chaos. But I'm glad that you're not my obsession. Let alone my favorite…"

What did he mean?

Running towards me, he squeezed my whole body, "_You are my greatest temptation Matt_… A temptation that I was glad I got myself into. My greatest risk turned out to be my absolute happiness… Thank you and…" He released me and gave a pressured kiss.

It lasted a while, I had my eyes closed the whole time, my blood was racing through my veins, but what triggered my adrenaline most was his last remark, _"Bye…" _

_**Later that evening… News came.**_

"I'm sorry I've gotten Matt killed…."

_So peaceful and silent, I see an angel  
Sleeping the night away, sleeping the night away  
So peaceful and silent, I see an angel  
And I'll try anything, to wake you up again_

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_**AN: And that's the end of part 1. Phew! Man was that tiring hehe, hope you guys liked it, the next part is just a short one since I'm relating this to the events that really happened in the series, hope you guys Review. Thanks so much!**_

_**I love you all **__****_

_**-Faye/ladystrife914/redappleeyes**_

**Preview:**

_**Will you ever Learn?**_

_**MELLO**_

_Crack!_

Later that afternoon, we had to go our separate ways in order for our plan to commence and we agreed to rendezvous in front of the Sakura T.V building and then split up when we head to NHN headquarters. We didn't really speak we just made hand signals. I was on my bike and he was on his Chevy. Things went on so fast that I soon found myself speeding in a truck with Takada.

Matt, where are you? Did things go on okay?

_So what's the point in all of this  
When you will never change  
The days have pass, The weather's changed  
Should I be sorry? Could I be sorry?_

_I did it all, all for you  
Hoping you would see  
Your eyes are dull, your hands are clenched_

_Are we ready? Are we ready?  
But you, you think about yourself  
Only but yourself  
But what about...  
_

_**No, I wasn't sorry… I was… devastated… Have I lost?**_

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_**AN: This is also the lyrics of a song by typecast once again entitled, "Will you ever learn" I'll update if fast and surely will if I get 5 reviews or more. The first person to give a decent review or just a review will have the next chapter dedicated to him or her and so, thanks **__****_

**_I just felt a sudden urge to write this fic, the 'MALO'-ness got to me! hehe but rest assured that my next update will be on my DeathNote fics, :D_**


	2. Will you ever Learn?: Discord

_**AN: As promised from the previous chap, I'm going to dedicate this to the person who gave me my first review, CabiidO! Thanks so much to you and to the others who reviewed a big Banzai! To you guys as well, to my readers, hope you continue to support me Hope you guys review.**_

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_**Will you ever Learn? **_

_**Part 1: Discord**_

_**MELLO**_

_Un-lonely nights  
Romantic moments  
The love, the love  
What about them?  
Throw it all away_

Matt's still playing that damn game… Fine.

I didn't bother to speak another word to Matt directly, even though we offered each other ourselves last night… And what an unforgettable night that was… I fled away from him after our last kiss and walked directly to the bathroom to cleanse myself of all things _'Matt-ly.' _

Why'd the hell did I feel that I should do it anyway? When every bit of Matt was my existence?

_Whoosh…._

The water from the hot shower rushed fast and heavy… Soon enough, I could feel the steam envelope the walls and it was starting to get misty… It was just what I needed. _Shade._

**Shade** from the emptiness that I was feeling… **Shade** from the discord that lurked in my thoughts that was reflected in my facial expression… Shade from everything that was _un-Mello._

I could never forgive my damn self if Matt freaking saw me like this! I mean… Last night… when I… That was…

_Sigh…_

What was the use? What's done is done…

It was starting to reek of cigar smoke, how'd I notice? Well, I was already disrobing when I saw that Matt from time to time kept on pacing outside the bathroom to peek, I smirked at this but shut the door and locked it.

_Click! _

"What the hell Matt? Can't you give me some alone time?" I yelled out, assuming that he wouldn't hear me.

I heard a chuckle coming from the other side of the door, as I leaned in, as expected from Matt, he resumed to his gaming.

What delightful tune Matt's laughter brought about!

Damn it, just a few more hours to go until show time…

Did _he _actually think that playing a SIMS version of us could make things so … _sigh…_ Real? Whatever… I'll let him be his own childish self. Whatever could divert him into the events that we'll… hopefully…overcome, then, he has my blessing.

I loosened up the blanket that covered my other half and let it slide through the floor. I also felt a slight pressure and heard a teensy clanging, "Hm?" My eyes darted my chest. "Oh… I almost forgot…" I gripped the rosary tight and for a second took a glimpse of my self at the foggy mirror.

I paused and didn't blink.

"Is this…?" I walked towards it still grasping my holy beads, undressed and wiped the mirror clean with my free hand. "Me?" I started to outline the burnt part of my face. This is what Matt had to live with ever since I left him for the Mafia. _Shit!_

_Thud! _

I couldn't help but punch the mirror. NO. I did NOT like what I saw, a distorted man with a distorted heart!

The cracks on the mirror were very visible but not a single piece fell and not one blood dripped from my fist, it did turn a slight shade of crimson but nothing more, was it because I clenched the rosary?

"Mels? You okay?"

_Figures…_I grinned a bit at his reaction.

Matt for some reason has bionic ears, kind of irritating actually, but it mattered to me, just the same, "I'm fine." I replied pretending to be gloomy, still focusing on my reflection.

"Enough of this shit!" I huffed and relaxed my face.

After I breathed deeply, I hung the rosary to where Matt's scarf dangled as well…

"Finally…" I whispered, entering the shower cubicle. I occasionally let out heavy breaths, I was insanely scrubbing myself as if I could literally 'wash my hands clean" of my offenses, but I was deeply concerned about what could happen after…my… I wanted to play 'Pontius' but whom was I kidding?

"I wonder… Will everything go on as planned?"

"Mels? You okay?"

He knocked.

My eyes closed momentarily and I inhaled deeply, "Great! _Just great_! What now?"

His knocking stopped, "You sure are slow…" his voice faded.

Matt.

Don't you get it? I'm waiting for you to leave! Come on man, make it easier for both of us, it's going to be one hell of a storm at evening, I cant be all caught up with Kira and thinking about you at the same time, give me a damn break!

I went out the cubicle, wrapping my lower half and left the water running, taking careful steps to the door, I reached for the knob and made a creak, "Matt," My voice was a bit shaky, I was indirectly talking to him, I couldn't bare to make eye contact and so I placed myself behind the door just allowed a glint of light to enter the shower room.

Upon hearing my voice, I could hear how his body shifted into my direction, the leather couch was enough proof. "Hm?" He replied. "Wh-"

"It's almost time, we should commence our plans." I cut him off once again.

His rapid fingers were no longer giving off minute 'ticking' sounds.

I felt that he already stood up, I imagined him, popping another cigar into his slender lips and taking a puff.

As soon as he gently dropped his controller, he paced towards me.

_Please… Don't come near… _

I thought.

"Alright." He finally conceded.

I sad nothing but slammed the door at his face as he sped in my direction.

"Mello!" His fist banged on the door and it slightly shook.

"Just go." I said bluntly. Resting my head on the wood, thrusting my hands against it and sucking it up…damn these emotions…

"Can't I just see you before I leave?? You told me yourself that _anything_ could happen!"

Matt was either exasperating or pleading. Whichever it was… It all meant the same for me…

If I let him in, then everything will crumble… well in Kira's case anyway. The moment that I see Matt, I'll be forced to abort the mission. Leave everything to Near, abandon my pride and drift from all the anticipated excruciating pain.

But what the hell is wrong with that? That's what I _really_ want after all right?

Or is it?

"_I will not be a pawn to help you solve your puzzle Near…"_

But those words that came from my mouth, haunt me to this day!

"_If you don't solve the puzzle the you're just another loser…" _

Near, is this a habit of yours? Torturing me?!

You sadist! _Thanks a lot._

The banging stopped.

"Fine… I'll go now, if that is what you truly desire."

I heard slow but heavy footsteps.

"Thank you…" I whispered.

He halted.

"I love you too Mels."

There goes his bionic ears again…

Matt…

I'm sorry…

I was sure that he didn't leave, as I pressed my palms on the door trying to absorb everything; how I shunned him, I could feel that he was doing the same. All that stood in between us was a fucking piece of wood! Damn… I feel like I'm surrounded in bars…

There was no air… he's left. Neither of us can tell if we could see each other again after tonight….

It was raining and foggy all over…. I was succumbed into a mist of despair…

My body slid and fell on the floor…

I was in prison…

Every mistake… every damn endeavor, which almost led to failure, was caused by _my _ploys all along.

You could just imagine what I looked like on the marble tiles… "Mello was _not _Mello."

My eyes dripped in unwanted tears, my lips bitten by my own, teeth grit, as I crawled and reached out for Matt's scarf and pulling it with all my might…

_Clink! _

My rosary…

Without thinking twice I gripped it tight and did the only thing that I could at the moment…

I knelt and...

_Dear Lord, if you can hear me, can you please save Matt from my destruction?_

This was not a false prayer, in fact among all the heed that I asked for, this was the one that I wanted God to listen to.

I begged...

Just once please?

And they say that I'm heartless. But maybe that _is_ my problem; getting _too_ involved with my emotions. It's already become part of me, it's what makes me distinct from Near.

_Goddamn! _

Oh great, that's blasphemy, another addition to my hall of sins. But who and what was I kidding? I was upset damn it!

But… It has to be done… I can't afford any more set backs, the sooner this is done, the sooner Matt and I will be at peace…

But maybe, just before the bout, we'll permit each other to give our regards personally…

_Patience is a Virtue…_

"_**Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for justice; they shall be satisfied." **_

Virtues… the Beatitudes… definitely a good guide. I'm so ashamed that it is only now that I realize their importance.

I finally stood up, wore the rosary around my neck and turned the shower off.

"Storms over and I made bail."

Clinging the door open, I grabbed my clothes and readied myself.

Before I put on my helmet, I secured my phone and took a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

Appearances are indeed deceiving, in some cases anyway…

Matt… as L taught us, _'Justice will, without fail, prevail!' _

Let us see through it.

"Let's jet!"

"But first…"

My eyes caught sight of a very distinct object wrapped in silver foil, "Matt…" I headed towards it and took the liberty of consuming Matt's little parting gift.

_Click!_

**_So sweet…_**

_I did it all, all for you  
Hoping you would see  
Your eyes are dull, your hands are clenched  
Are we ready? Are we ready?_

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**_AN: Phew! After a month and a couple of days waiting… Tada! Chap2 part 1 is finished! Wee! Sorry guys, I had a college entrance test that I had to review on, please pray for my success guys! I will love you guys to death! Thanks hehe hope you liked it and will leave a little something, like I dunno, a review? -wink wink- Sorry if the song lyrics is cut here, you'll see in the next and concluding chapter why :D Thanks so much for reading! :D -Ladystrife914_**

**_Watch out for Part 2!_**

**_Will you ever learn? : Should I be?_**


	3. Are we ready?

**_AN: Thanks again to Cabiido for being the first to review. Wow, I can't help but admit my disappointment with my update feedback results... but nevertheless eternally grateful to those who viewed. And hey, 'Patience is a Virtue!' LOL Thanks so much, ILY all. Cabiido, you're the greatest! And so, This sneek peek is for you. This is NOT the official Part 2, I want to hear your say about the situation since I've decided that this will be a reader-based ending. For those interested anyways. :)) thanks again. and enjoy..._**

* * *

**_MELLO_**

Let **eternal damnation** fall upon Mihael Keehl but in return...

If **Salvation** cannot be granted upon Mail Jeevas at once then... let him go through **purgation...**

"Hear my bargain, O Lord..."

**_Prayer_**... It's what will keep me sane.

_It's all I can do..._

Now that, I'm racing through the streets on my Harley, so did the adrenaline that pumped in my chest.

Faster and Faster I went, the clinging sound that my 'safety blanket' continued as it dance in the wind.

I gripped his scarf as I drove.

"Matt... I've **got **to see you..."

_You know me well, You know it's **wrong**_

Should we really go through this?

_Then what is it you feel?_

My Pride tells me yes, but _I'm _saying no...

_You hide behind those perfect smiles_

I dont want you conceding and jerking a contented expressions at my decisions anymore!

If I ask you, would you give me the answer we _both _want?

_  
It won't fool me, cause you already did..._

* * *

**MATT**

_**But you**, you think about yourself_

Mello, you promised that before we commence, we'd rendezvous. "Where are you?"

I was puffing more cigars than ever, if you were with me, you'd know by the looks that they were scattered along the parking lot.

It's so cold, I miss your warmth.

I yearn for your lips, I savor the sweet taste of **'freedom.'**

_**Only** but yourself_

It doesnt matter how distant and mood-swingy you were towards me, as long as you want me, I wont abandon you...

Hurry... Just hurry.

I know that no matter what, we have to go through this. Even if you say no, it's what has to _be._

I promised that by my own hands, we shall prevail.

We'll defeat Near, we'll overcome Kira.

_But what about..._

* * *

_**MATT AND MELLO**_

_I did it all, **all for you**_

The sound of tires screeching and the halt of an engine tingled Matt's ears.

_Hoping you would see_

"Could it be?" he thought, bearing weaved brows and a curious expression, slowly walking away from his vehicle.

Foot steps emerged and the foggy facade carved a silhouette of man.

_Your eyes are dull, your hands are clenched_

"Matt?" The apparation now revealed a man dressed in black, holding a long-weaved fabric. He called out to his parter in such an uneasy tone.

**"If I see him, will _I _be able to let go? Maybe, this_ isn't_ such a good idea after all..."** he thought, facing his back on the bewildered Mello.

_"Matt..."_

_"Mello..."_

_Both:  
**Are we ready? Are we ready?**_

* * *

**_AN: Bum-buh-buhm! -cue suspense music- Lolx, I wonder what'll happen next? Will they go through with it?_**

**_Man, did things turn for Matt and Mello, did they switch minds O.o?_**

**_hope you guys review or something... Come on, make me feel loved, onegai? _**

**_I will dedicate the succeeding chapter/s to the people who'll do so._**

**_I know I keep on saying that this will end soon, but come on anything and alot can happen in a day :D_**

**_hope that I'll get better feedback this time around, rantings are very much welcomed :)_**

**_Check out the LiveJournal Links to view images and songs from my DEATHNOTE fics :D _**

**_-ladystrife914_**


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